I am Sam
and this is my story
Shamanic Practitioner. Spiritual Healer.
I begin my story with a poem
And then the strong one fell,
and crumbled.
and broke.
And then there was nothing left.
Until the silence came.
And then the breath.
And then the emptiness.
and then…
the fullness.
When the strong one fell.
-s.corrie
That was me
Once upon a time,
I felt I had to be strong and hold it all together.
Never opening up.
Feeling that if I did I was a burden,
and that I was taking up too much of other people’s time.
Once upon a time,
I felt that being angry was bad,
and that even though people around me truly cared,
I felt that crying alone was safer.
Once upon a time
my body became a huge sacrifice for my emotions.
I got sick,
I was always tired
I suffered deep anxiety.
I lacked passion, confidence and motivation.
Then one day,
I stopped trying to be strong.
I stopped trying to hold it all together
I stopped ignoring my feelings.
Then one day,
I realised I was holding priceless treasures,
unique precious gifts,
for I learnt that what I feared within myself
was and will always be
my greatest teacher
and my greatest gifts.
I began to deeply understand
that the only way to access my unique treasures
was to befriend the dragons that I feared…
my own inner fears
my fear of loneliness,
my low self esteem,
my poor body image,
my fear of anger,
my shame,
the need to always be “good”,
my distorted view of sensuality
and what being a divine feminine truly meant
I began to understand that my EMOTIONS were my friend
and that they held the greatest wisdom for my body, heart and soul.
I began to understand the wisdom of the Dragons -
that they hold safe the qualities and wisdom
that I was unable to care for
understand
appreciate
and use within myself.
I have been blessed to sit in circle with extra-ordinary teachers, healers, folk-healers, druids, shamans, wise men and women, mentors and earth based healers in Ireland, England, New Zealand and Australia.
I love sitting on rocks
over looking the unlimited expanse of the ocean,
walking, sitting and laying in sacred sites, stone circles and cairns,
walking in the rain and wind,
and dancing in storms.
I have been awakened through visions,
dreamings
and journeyings
by sitting,
listening,
and purging.
The Earth,
her Elements
and the Spirits of the Land
have shown me so much,
taught me so much,
and held me in so many ways
as I purged,
renewed
and woke again.
So I walked,
and still do,
many dark tunnels within myself and I befriended all that I once hid and feared.
I continually heal my inner landscape
and reclaim my inner truth,
and my divine femininity.
I do this for me.
I do this to help heal my ancestors.
I do this to help heal the earth,
and I do this now,
continually,
to create a gentler path for my children.
As a Mumma I am passionate about understanding who I am,
so that I can be a more present,
aware and conscious parent.
As a result I have gained a truly unique view of parenting,
raising children
and communicating with my children.
Women’s Wisdom
There are sacred liminal spaces that as a woman I have trod
My bleeding years, my pregnancy journey, my menopausal years.
These have shaped who I am,
as they invited thresholds to be crossed
over and over
again and again
They invited me to view and treat my body differently
they invited me to create and change my inner dialogue -
of what it meant to to bleed,
to be a Mumma
and now to be a post menopausal woman.
As a result I now walk with women as they cross the many thresholds that are incredibly unique unto them
Death - a sacred threshold
I am aware of the constant Spirit of Death
My training introduced me to Death - as an ally and friend.
This has made living more exciting, more joyous, more sacred.
My Mumma’s death and my Uncle’s death
were initiations for me.
Tending to them in their final days
made me realise that I am
a Spiritual Midwife for those that wish to cross the thresholds of life in its many forms.
As day turns to night and night turns to day
As the moon changes its phase
and the seasons turn
We are constantly reminded that nothing stays the same,
and that life and death are exquisite dance partners.
When I create space - in a healing or sacred circle - I invite thresholds to be continually crossed,
it is only when we do so can deep healing occur.
The snake sheds its skin.
The caterpillar dies
for the butterfly to be born.
The tadpole changes shape
for the frog to emerge.
The soul needs to leave the once safe shore
for the heart to come home.
These thresholds become little deaths
in the breath of life.
I will hold that Midwife space for you
for as long as you need
as you cross your own thresholds
over
and over
again.
Soul Loss
I was unaware of what that meant for me until I received my fragmented and lost soul parts.
When we are disconnected from ourselves,
through trauma, illness, pain,
through addictions and the '“stuff of society”
we abuse our personal being
we fell and destroy our inner landscapes
we ignore our sacred sites within
we desecrate ourselves
and we disconnect from the Earth,
we fear nature,
we hurt nature
and we become unaware of our footprint
upon ourselves
upon the Earth
and upon our generations - past and present
I will hold space for you
as you step beyond your current shore of understanding,
as you learn to tend to your inner garden
with hands of a Master Gardener
as you learn to love yourself enough
to plant that which your heart truly desires
and as you learn to become your own inner wise one, healer and sovereign.
